All 10 Monkeys in Magic Ranked

Kibo, Uktabi Prince | Illustration by Zoltan Boros

When I first started writing this article, I could only think of 80s music. So sorrynotsorry, but here's the first song that earwormed me.

Now that you’re also afflicted with a catchy song by a great artist that’s totally not really about monkeys, you’re more than ready to explore the world of monkeys in MTG. Aren’t you?

What Are Monkeys in MTG?

Ragavan, Nimble Pilferer | Illustration by Magali Villeneuve

Monkeys are a seldom seen creature type introduced summer 1998 with starter set Portal: Second Age’s Tree Monkey and Exodus’s Ravenous Baboons, originally apes but errata’d to monkey. There are only 10 monkeys in traditional MTG sets with four in Unsets. I won’t be ranking the Un-monkeys, just the cards playable in Commander, but for completion’s sake, they are:

• Monkey-
• Monkey Monkey Monkey
• Tainted Monkey
• Willing Test Subject

Monkeys are smaller than apes in real life and in terms of Magic stats, so most of the monkeys in MTG are a bit underwhelming. But when designs play into the idea of fast little critters with quick fingers, we get some pretty good cards!

Let’s take a look at each one in this (very small) barrel of monkeys.

#10. Prickly Marmoset

A third-tier wincon in the Ikoria: Lair of Behemoths Draft environment’s cycling deck, Prickly Marmoset no longer really has a home. That’s kind of a shame because the match between the cool art by Simon Dominic and the flavor text is quite good.

#9. Zodiac Monkey

You’ll feel awesome when the forestwalk on a Zodiac Monkey pays off. Until then, you’d rather Wizards made more monkeys so you didn’t have to play this card.

#8. Ravenous Baboons

A 2/2 for 4 is terrible, but Ravenous Baboons destroys lands. So blinking it can be very effective, and in Commander it can be downright nasty, where almost all lands will be nonbasic targets. The trouble is that red’s not the most popular blink color. I’ll once again hop on the hype train for Boros blink!

#7. Tree Monkey

Tree Monkey’s one of the few 1-drops for your Kibo decks. I guess the reach might matter in a counters deck? This is really about curve.

#6. Wily Bandar

Gotta have more 1-drop monkeys in your Kibo decks, and Wily Bandar’s activated ability making it indestructible until end of turn makes it a nice place to drop +1/+1 counters.

#5. Scrounging Bandar

We’re tipping into the world of playable cards! Not the best move counters card, Scrounging Bandar is, however, useful in Hardened Scales types of decks where everything gets counters and the Bandar provides some nice flexibility.

#4. Simian Sling

The equipment creatures with reconfigure from Kamigawa: Neon Dynasty are always playable and sometimes very good. They helps solve the classic equipment deck problem of the balance of creatures and their tools because they’re both.

It’s an artifact and does a little ping effect when it’s blocked. Not bad. And if it’s attached as an equipment, in the event of, say, a board wipe, it falls off the now-dead creature as a creature. Which can be a nice bit of value.

#3. Kibo, Uktabi Prince

A joke about one of MTG’s more infamous pieces of art, Kibo, Uktabi Prince seems to be the progeny of the monkeys in the background of Visions’ Uktabi Orangutan. The only real commander for ape and monkey typal decks, Kibo synergizes nicely with the classic ape ability to destroy artifacts, from the old (Gorilla Shaman) to the new Gearbane Orangutan.

Giving out bananas seems a bit like group hug, but the tide turns when the Kibo deck starts laying down cards like Viridian Revel and a pile of Gruul and green +1/+1 counters synergies.

#2. Rashmi and Ragavan

A popular Temur commander and card, Rashmi and Ragavan mashes up Rashmi, Eternities Crafter’s and Ragavan, Nimble Pilferer’s abilities to great effect. This mash-up feels like swinging with a Ragavan that never gets blocked, which is pretty cool. Even if you never strike nonland off the tops of libraries, just making a Treasure token on each of your turns is a reasonable enough bit of ramp and utility. Add that you can sometimes cast cards for free, and you’ve got a lot of potential value here.

#1. Ragavan, Nimble Pilferer

The best 1-drop creature in the game for quite a while, Ragavan, Nimble Pilferer’s dominance in Modern has been under siege from the reign of the now-banned Fury and now from Orcish Bowmasters. Ragavan is also a solid commander and is always in the top 10 most-played red creatures in the format.

The Treasure is a lot, as is the chance to hit a playable card off their library. Dash is often a bonus, removing the Pilferer from the battlefield as a target for sorcery-speed removal.

Ragavan is an extraordinarily pushed card that’s easy to slot into any deck that can play it.

Best Monkey Payoffs

Aside from just putting Ragavan into any deck where it’s castable in any format where it’s legal, monkey payoffs at this time are largely wrapped up in the EDH decks helmed by Kibo, Uktabi Prince and Rashmi and Ragavan. Since most of the monkeys printed in the last five years are popular, it seems likely that WotC will keep printing them, so we might hope for a slow drip of payoffs and additional monkeys to join the MTG troop.

Wrap Up

Rashmi and Ragavan | Illustration by Joshua Cairos

Before we go, I wanted to point out the biggest problem faced by MTG monkey fans, which is the lack of an official Banana token for Kibo! Folks have stepped into this gap with their creativity, making and selling their own versions of these tokens, and I know of at least one person who uses Bananarama Runts.

Of course, some folks object to edible objects on the MTG table, but having players actually eat the tokens when they crack them is pretty, um, sweet.

Do you want to see more monkeys in MTG, or has Ragavan poisoned the well for you? Let us know in the comments or on Discord.

And I have to leave you with a link to the Bananarama song I can’t get out of my head now that I talked about the candy. You’re welcome.