Last updated on March 31, 2022
Swamp (Throne of Eldraine) | Illustration by Svetlin Velinov
The first few Un-sets gave us a pleasant surprise when they dropped consisting of some beautiful, full-art lands. John Avon’s cycle of lands from Unhinged in particular became iconic representations of each basic. Then we were given something a little different alongside Forgotten Realms: basic lands that had flavor text, relating them more to the world than just art on a card.
And then Secret Lairs came out with an abomination of a product: basic Lands with all the rules and reminder text. No art whatsoever.
Let’s talk about that.
Good Mythical Morning
What Are the Full-Text Basics?
Plains (Ikoria: Lair of Behemoths) | Illustration by Alayna Danner
These full-text meme lands were revealed with the Dr. Lair’s Secretorium Superdrop in late April 2021. They’re essentially basic lands with every single line of rules text that pertains to a basic. Everything from supertypes to how tapping works to how mana works. It’s all printed on the card as one giant word soup.
Gallery of Full-Text Basic Lands
Where Were Full-Text Basics Printed?
These lands were exclusive to the Dr. Lair’s Secretorium Superdrop Secret Lair which was announced on April 27, 2021. Preorders were available through May 28, 2021 and the product shipped on August 25, 2021.
Where Can You Get Full-Text Lands Now?
Some digital storefronts may have these full-text basics available. Unfortunately only TCGPlayer has any listed on their site right now, while Star City Games and CardKingdom don’t have them for sale.
Your local game store may also have some available, so I’d recommend talking to them.
Are the Full-Text Basics Legal?
These lands are legal in all formats. In fact, they’re so legal they have all the rules printed on them!
Will Full-Text Lands Be Reprinted?
These full-text basics probably won’t be reprinted. Secret Lairs are supposed to be exclusive so I doubt we’ll see these making a comeback anytime soon.
Full-Text Alters
Reddit user Dethblud drafted up this custom “full-text Mountain” alter for Vintage players. It also references mana burn, back when that was a thing.
Dethblud was originally inspired by this Tumblr thread where another player created some humorous modern-border full-text land alters.
Alternatives
Unfortunately, it’ll be hard to find any alternatives since these full-text lands were a Secret Lair exclusive.
You can easily go for full-art lands which are much more appealing to look at than these abominations. My personal favorites are the Amonkhet full-arts because of those sick Bolas horns.
Wrap Up
Island (Strixhaven: School of Mages) | Illustration by Lucas Stamic
Full-text basics are silly lands. This was a silly Secret Lair. Whether or not you like these abominations, they’re here to stay. I applaud the creativity of the idea, but man are they ugly.
What do you think of these? Do you wish they made full-text versions of non-basic lands? Let me know in the comments or reach out to us over on Twitter.
As for me, I’m going to dive back into my “Birds-aren’t-real” van in Forza Horizon 5. Keep your decks sleeved!
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