Fleem Is Dead. Long Live Fleem.

Last updated on May 30, 2026

“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”

Long ago, when the deep dark pit of time was but a pothole in the Denny's parking lot that is the universe, there was Fleem. Not born, and yet, the very concept of him held so much weight that it still existed before the first elements, before the first stars, even before sliced bread. Endless, nameless, until enough matter amalgamated itself into a corporeal body, a being…. of Fleem. And so it was, and the world rejoiced!

Goben, Gene-Splice Savant // Fleem, Goben's Creation | Illustration by Nicholas Gregory

“Fleem, oh Fleem! Our joy is pure, our faith is rewarded, for Fleem is with us! Oh what a great blessing this is!”

FOOLS! Oh what terrible fools we all were. To think this could last. To think that miracles could happen to us simple mortal sinners. 

source: tumblr.com

Wizards of the Coast, in all their infinite wisdom, decided that they actually hate things that are good and they love being evil, because they decided to undo Through the Omenpaths. They worked with Marvel so that they could have digital versions of their cards for the upcoming Marvel Super Heroes set, as well as for the Spiderman set retroactively. They did this for two reasons:

1. Corporate Greed

2. They Hate Fleem

Corporate Greed: Why Fleem Must Die

Booster Tutor | Illustration by Heather Hudson

There have been times throughout history where a single individual has threatened the authority of a regime. Civil rights leaders, iconoclasts, religious figures, rebels, free thinkers. They are the ones remembered by time, as they are the ones that defined their time. Through action, defiance, and tenacity in the face of oppression. Fleem is one of these figures. It is the reason that Fleem must die, and it is also the reason that Fleem will never die.

You see, Fleem was never meant to be born. Wizards of the Coast already had a little lovable mascot, or at least, they thought they did. Loot. I despise that thing. A terrible attempt to make a recognizable piece of intellectual property, just to sell plushies and FunkoPops. 

Loot, the Pathfinder | Illustration by Ernanda Souza

This thing is not cute. It's disgusting. I would rather they print a minion facebook meme onto a card.

Extra Fries haha. Now that's funny.

The Folly Of Man: Why Fleem Must Live

Spider-Ham, Peter Porker | Illustration by Filipe Pagliuso

Anyways, in an attempt to make something cute and marketable, they failed, as there was no authenticity, no love for their unholy creation. You can't capture lightning in a bottle. But that didn't stop them from shoveling their slop into our slop troughs.

And then there was Fleem. Born out of a mistake, the Spiderman set which wasn't even a Spiderman set. The designers had to find a solution. They were in a panic at the design meeting.

“We'll never be able to make a similar yet legally distinct version of the Green Goblin!” one of them shouted.

“Oh, what hubris we have sought! Woe is me! What would we even call a card like that? Surely all hope is lost!” said Mark Rosewater.

A damp silence filled the room. Despair took hold.

But a single voice spoke up, from the shrouded corner of the board room. An intern, hired only that day, no one knew their name, no one even realized they were there, but their voice rang true.

“What about…. Fleem”

There was no rejoicing, just more silence. But their time was running out.

“Fine,” said Mark Rosewater. “Fleem will have to do”

And so it came to be. That intern never returned, he slipped out the back and into the cool night sky. Perhaps he was an angel, steering the course of history with a gentle nudge.

Although the designers at Wizards of the Coast did not realize it, we the players knew divine providence when we saw it. As soon as Fleem made its way onto Arena, we rejoiced. 

“We love Fleem!” we cried.

But that isn't what they heard. Wizards of the Coast heard us shout “Hooray, a lovably marketable mascot to exploit! Please give us plushies and keychains and cards and FunkoPops to buy of this crusty goblin!” 

Sadly, no miracle ever goes unexploited. Corporate Greed: It's why Fleem had to die. And it's why he must live.

Life Is Fleem

Is that all there is? Will Fleem really be reduced to just another Secret Lair that gets bought out in 0.3 seconds by resellers and listed for 500%+ of MSRP on eBay? Yes, definitely. But doesn't Fleem stand for so much more? Is he not a hero of all mankind? Not really. But is he not the lovable mascot we've all been waiting for? Maybe. Really I don't know. I don't even know what the card does. Oh well. That's life I guess. No Fleem for you. Sorry not sorry.